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> Daily Scrubs quote thread
Bar-Aram
post Aug 21 2006, 10:38 PM
Post #1


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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Random one to be posted by me in this thread every day. Because I feel like it.


2006-08-22

Dr. Cox (to JD): "And for the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense? Oh gosh, maybe you were running late that day cause you just couldn't find the right thong for those low-rider jeans that you love so much. Or maybe you were busy bopping along to whatever boy band really makes your heart race nowadays and you just drove on by. Of course, I don't know. I'm just guessing. But one thing's sure-shooting. You wound up at the dumb-dumb store and you just went ahead and put as much of that into the cart as you could fit, didn't you?"

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Aug 21 2006, 11:03 PM
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mhallex
post Aug 22 2006, 12:58 PM
Post #2


MHallex and the European Left: Defenders of Testicular Sovreigni
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This is a brillant idea. Me and my friends stayed up most of last night and drank whisky and watched Scrubs- there are few more satisfying ways of bonding.
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 22 2006, 10:45 PM
Post #3


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-08-23


Elliot: "I just don't know what to do about Dr. Cox."

JD: "What the hell is going on here?"

Elliot: "It's like I say one thing, he says the other. Seriously, I can't take it anymore."

JD: "Fine, why don't you just quit, become a lesbian and hook up with some hot model?"

Elliot: "What does that have to do with anything?"

JD: "I don't know, I just thought it'd be hot."
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Shenlong
post Aug 23 2006, 07:06 PM
Post #4


Spilled yogurt~
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HJG

This post has been edited by Shenlong: Aug 23 2006, 10:17 PM
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 23 2006, 10:02 PM
Post #5


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-08-24


Dr. Cox: "Make your case."

Elliot: "I'm sorry, what?"

Dr. Cox: "Well, you tell me why Chorey McCrazy Chore should get to stay here two more nights."

Elliot: "Ok. You don't understand how hard it is for some women to make it on their own nowadays. I mean, Jill is so exhausted, and it's not gonna get any easier because she is her own worst enemy, you know? I mean, she's constantly trying to please everyone. She judges herself harsher than anyone does."

Dr. Cox: "Have you actually seen what you look like today?"

Elliot: "I know, I'm a skank. And she never says no to anyone, so..."

Dr. Cox: "Could you swing by my apartment after work, pick up a sample of my dog's stool, and take it to the vet for me?"

Elliot: "I can do it at lunch." [Elliot stops in mid motion and a bell goes off] "Oh... "

Dr. Cox: "It's ok. Jill can stay a little longer. And if we're real lucky, she'll realize that it's ok to give yourself a break every once in a while. Right?"
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MindsWideOpen
post Aug 23 2006, 10:06 PM
Post #6


Janice, it hurts.


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Just admit it, you love the Cox.
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 23 2006, 10:11 PM
Post #7


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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QUOTE(MindsWideOpen @ Aug 24 2006, 12:06 AM) *

Just admit it, you love the Cox.


(IMG:../forums/style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)


Edit: Seriously though, he is the coolest character on the show, with Elliot a good second and Todd as third. At least that's my opinion.

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Aug 23 2006, 10:16 PM
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bigboy
post Aug 24 2006, 12:24 AM
Post #8


Secular and Conservative
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Dan Cox, a guy at my highschool, ran for student council with the slogan "everyone loves Cox."

This post has been edited by bigboy: Aug 24 2006, 12:24 AM
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 24 2006, 10:20 PM
Post #9


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-08-25


Dan: "This reminds me of the time I came down to see you guys when you were in Med School. When I hooked up with that slutty chick. Remember the one with the huge cans? What was her name?"

JD: "Amy."

Dan: "Yeah, how do you remember stuff like that?"

JD: "She was my girlfriend."

Dan: "Right... You got her number?"
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 25 2006, 11:10 PM
Post #10


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-08-26


Dr. Cox: "Oh, the addict said he quit? Why wouldn't you tell me something like that? Cause, don't you see, that changes everything."

JD: "I believe in Mr. Barnes."

Dr. Cox: "Lookit Newbie, just because you have a new girlfriend doesn't mean that the world has suddenly turned into a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck. They do. Barbie here still can't decide what to do with those annoying bangs. And addicts everywhere will still lie, cheat, and steal just to get a fix. [starts shaking JD] Now, you've got to wake up sweetheart. You're gonna be late for school... ah, you wet the bed. [starts walking away] Why can't I have a normal child without these problems? ah-hu-hu-huu..."

Elliot: "My mom says they frame my face."

JD: "They don't."

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Oct 29 2006, 09:16 PM
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Bar-Aram
post Aug 27 2006, 10:07 PM
Post #11


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-08-27



Dr. Cox: "Hi, bring it in here you knuckleheads. Come on, take a knee if you need to you confoundeds. I have been on since midnight, so I stand here with my ususal level of contempt for all of you but with the added wrinkle of having 13 cups of nurse Roberts piss-poor excuse for coffe passing pretty much straight through me. The not-so-hidden message being of course that if you screw up today... ha, I'm gonna hit you hard and ha, I'm gonna hit you fast. Now, then... I think some of you may have noticed that all of the 27 patients that were here in the ICU when I started last night are still alive, and I damn sure intend for them to still be breathing when I get the hell outta here tonight at midnight. I think you understand what kind of opportunity we have infront of us."

(Dr. Cox looks around and walks away.)

Elliot: "What opportunity?"

JD: "Shut up! You see, in baseball when a pitcher's really hot no one talks to him, no one looks at him, you just stay out of his way."

Elliot: "Why are you talking about baseball?"

Dr. Cox (comes back): "Because you should never, ever, jinx a pitcher when he has a chance to throw a perfect game. My God, Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning? All by yourself? It's remarkable."
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Sephiroth
post Aug 27 2006, 11:37 PM
Post #12


Really, I do
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QUOTE(Bar-Aram @ Aug 27 2006, 06:07 PM) *

2006-08-27
JD: "Shut up! You see, in baseball when a pitcher's really hot no one talks to him, no one looks at him, you just stay out of his way."

Elliot: "Why are you talking about baseball?"

Dr. Cox (comes back): "Because you should never, ever, jinx a pitcher when he has a chance to throw a perfect game. My God, Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning? All by yourself? It's remarkable."

Dr. Cox is the man now dog.
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Seizure Man
post Aug 29 2006, 04:09 PM
Post #13


I shaved my sideburns and the sight blinded me
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this wasn't updated yesterday. I think a warning is well earned.
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 22 2006, 08:34 PM
Post #14


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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Daily Scrubs quotes are back!

2006-10-22

Elliot: "JD, seeing a young doctor do his job is an amazing turnon for a girl. My dad is a doctor and I remember how excited I was the first time I saw him work in a hospital. I mean, I didn't wanna sleep with him, but there were definitely some complicated feelings. But, that's totally normal for an 11-year-old, right? Anyway, yeah... I forget... " (runs off)
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 23 2006, 09:38 PM
Post #15


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-23

Elliot: "Dr. Moyer, you told me my patient had Colitis, and it turns out it was just travelers' diarhea."

Dr. Moyer: "So? It sounds like good news."

Elliot: "Yeah... he took it as bad news, maybe because of the unnecessary colonoscope I shoved three feet up his pooper?"
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 24 2006, 05:22 PM
Post #16


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-24


Dr. Kelso: "Nurse Espinoza, do you by any chance know when your 9:30 shift starts?"

Carla: "9:30?"

Dr. Kelso: "See, that's what I would have said. But then I had Ted stand out in the parking lot and monitor your arrival times this week. Ted?"

Ted: "9:34, 9:39, 9:41, 9:33, and 9:50."

Carla: "How is that law degree working out for you, Ted?"

Ted: "I was going to be a senator... "

Dr. Kelso: "I haven't perused the latest nursing contract, but I'm guessing it doesn't say "show up when you damn well please". "

Dr. Cox (walking in): "Oh, hey Bob, here's an idea. What say you stop showing up altogether, and we'll just replace you with a giant time clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cucko bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman, I've never satisfied a woman, I've never satisfied a woman... " "

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Oct 24 2006, 05:27 PM
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 25 2006, 10:03 PM
Post #17


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-25

Elliot: "Just because I occasionally say something stupid, it doesn't mean I'm in the hospital going door to door annoying people like some crazed Jehovah's Witness."

(JD motions towards Turk)

Elliot: "Oh, you're not?"

Turk: "No."

(Elliot chuckles relieved)

Turk: "My mother is." (gets up and walks away angry)

JD: "He's black too. You should tease him about that."

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Oct 30 2006, 01:58 AM
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 26 2006, 09:23 PM
Post #18


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-26

JD: "Do you think this is a good time to start talking about a nickname for my penis? It's just that I dated this girl in college who made the decision without consulting me, and then all of a sudden there it was. 18 straight months of being called 'Little Buddy', and we just didn't like that. Not one bit."

Dani: "JD, I haven't even had coffe yet..."

JD: "You're right, I'm sorry. .... 'Big Al', for example... "
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 27 2006, 08:45 PM
Post #19


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-27

Dr. Cox: "The man is 92 years old, he has full dementia, and he doesn't even know we're here. He is inches from Carla's rack and he hasn't even flinched."

Carla: "Oh, that is so sweet."

Dr. Cox: "Yeah, it is... "

JD: "What about his subconscious?"

Dr. Cox: (leans down to the patient's ear and whispers) "Eisenhower was a sissy." (pulls back quick fists ready, patient doesn't move) "I think by the grace of God we're gonna be ok. Oh, and from now on, whenever I'm in the room, you're definitely not allowed to talk."
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 28 2006, 10:12 PM
Post #20


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-28

Elliot: "Look Turk, I know that I don't always make the best first impression. Or second, for that matter. Anyway, I'd like us to be friends, and I thought maybe, you know, I could get to know you a little better. See what you're about." (picks up photograph on the table) "For instance, when did you meet Morgan Freeman?"

Turk: "That's my mom."

Elliot: "... I like her freckles... "
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 29 2006, 08:50 PM
Post #21


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-29

Dr. Kelso: "Oh, Dr. Reid, I just wanted say you're out of my doghouse. That was a great catch on that patient with Meningococcus."

Elliot: "That actually wasn't me, sir. Carla noticed the rash on his legs."

Dr. Kelso: "Well, that's fascinating. You could have fallen back into my good graces, and instead you pass the credit on to a nurse. How noble. I'll tell you what, I'll get the cafeteria staff to write 'Was it worth it?' on a big cake for you." (walks away laughing)
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ro4444
post Oct 29 2006, 08:55 PM
Post #22


Oh, fuck off, grasshopper
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You're ruining the series for me, but I don't care. This thread is awesome (IMG:../forums/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 30 2006, 02:56 AM
Post #23


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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Well, since it is a new day here since 3 and a half hours ago and I'm not getting any sleep, I might as well do this.


2006-10-30

(Dr. Cox is lying on the couch in the lounge trying to catch sleep during his break)

Elliot: "On the one hand I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it, and ok, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart."

Dr. Cox: "I'm sleeping?"

Elliot: "On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning, you know?"

Dr. Cox: "Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Elliot: "It's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, JD always tells me how much you've helped him out."

Dr. Cox: "Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flipping policy, has he? Look" (Dr. Cox sits up in the couch in a quick sudden movement) "this whole groovy guidance counsellor thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy. You can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you." (goes back to sleep)

Elliot: "I guess 'sweetheart' is kind of innocuous... "

Dr. Cox: (rushes back up again) "Ok, here's what you're gonna do. Go right down there and confront Kelso."

Elliot: "Really?"

Dr. Cox: "Oh, absolutely. Never mind that he is the Chief of Medicine for the entire hospital. He'll have a whole new level of respect for you."

Elliot: "Honestly?"

Dr. Cox: "Yes, you can't have sexist terms like that floating around here. You go get 'im."

(as Elliot is walking away, Dr. Cox slaps her on the butt and goes back to sleep)

This post has been edited by Bar-Aram: Oct 30 2006, 03:05 AM
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 31 2006, 01:32 AM
Post #24


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-10-31


(Dr. Cox is stretched out in the couch in the lounge resting. Elliot walks in.)

Elliot: "Dr. Cox?"

Dr. Cox: "And I'm hoping for your sake there's another Dr. Cox sitting right behind me..."

Elliot: "I feel stupid, but sending me to Kelso like that, well I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to teach me."

Dr. Cox: "The value, and this is important, of leaving me alone."

Elliot: "I think we both know there's a little more to it than that."

Dr. Cox: "No, no, no, there's not! Look, I want you to go ahead and spread the word, missy. I've had enough! The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I'm going to hurt them. And you, you neurotic one-woman freak show, take your bla-bla to the bla-bla-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brain-ship, cause he's drunk at the wheel."

Elliot: "You're right. I need to learn to pick my battles. Thank you so much!" (walks away happy)

Dr. Cox: "You're welcome."
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Bar-Aram
post Oct 31 2006, 11:17 PM
Post #25


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-11-01

(Dr. Cox storms into patient's room interrupting JD and Elliot about to kiss)

Dr. Cox: "Look, this guy is gonna need 40 mEqs of KCL and go ahead and grab me when you get the reults."

JD: "You got it."

Dr. Cox: "Oh, and his tv is broken, so when you two do start tagging each other, the least you can do is wake him up and let him watch."
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Bar-Aram
post Nov 1 2006, 11:33 PM
Post #26


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-11-02

Dr. Cox: "Bravo! Just a big bravo! Heaven help me, I love Newbie theatre. Honest, I do. It's the way you both play your parts with such wonderful commitment that almost had me believing that you aren't having whiny, neurotic, extremely pale sex with each other."

JD: "What are you talking about?"

Dr. Cox: "Please stop. The whole floor knows. We do. Watch this. Laverne, did you know?"

Laverne: "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

Dr. Cox: "And Carla?"

Carla: "Please, I knew before they did."

Dr. Cox: "So.. there it is. Oh, and if you go ahead and listen very carefully, you'll hear the familiar sound of no one caring."
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Seizure Man
post Nov 2 2006, 09:43 PM
Post #27


I shaved my sideburns and the sight blinded me
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Wasn't that in your sig at one time?
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Bar-Aram
post Nov 3 2006, 12:29 AM
Post #28


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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That and also the 2006-10-22 quote with Elliot talking about watching a young doctor do his work being a major turnon for girls and then revealing way too much.
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Bar-Aram
post Nov 3 2006, 12:51 AM
Post #29


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-11-03


Dr. Cox (meets JD and Elliot as they come in through the door): "We are shortstaffed today because Kelso has volunteered all of you scut monkeys for some psychologist's research project, give me a break, which means of course you won't be helping patients. Instead, well you'll be blabbering about your feelings, and what it's like working in the hospital, and how that affects your personal lives, and wah, wah, wah. And there he is now, oh big Bob-o himself. Ok," (whistles) "all nurses and interns, let's gather around and dance for the Puppet Master. Oh yes, dance!"

Dr. Kelso: "It's not just the nurses and the interns."
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Bar-Aram
post Nov 3 2006, 11:31 PM
Post #30


I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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2006-11-04


Dr. Cox: "Well, gosh, I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy I just wanted to help people. I don't tell this story very often, but I remember when I was seven years old one time I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. And so, I picked him up and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox, and... hahahaha oh, my god! oh... I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does - chicks, money, power and chicks. But since HMOs have made it virtually impossible to make any real money, which directly affects the number of chicks who come sniffing around, and don't ask me what tree they're barking up cause they're sure as hell not pissing on mine. And as far as power goes, well... Here I am during my free time letting some 13-year-old psychology fellow, who couldn't cut it in real medicine, ask me questions about my personal life. So, here's the inside scoop there pumpkin... Why don't you go ahead and tell me all about power?"
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